My photo
A lover of the liberal arts, especially antiquity in its diverse forms, I am nonetheless wholly devoted to, utterly transformed by divine revelation. I seek to know the thought of the past, articulate my deepest longings aroused by the wise, and understand the uneasy relationship between reason and revelation; all for the sake of proper action and contemplation, both now and in the future.

2.21.2007

Stress

Ever get the feeling that you're helpless and out of control? Everything is spinning out of my reach. I feel lifeless and pushed to the limits - like that 500 rod portage. Note: this is not good.

I'm slipping in regards to Latin and even my Divine Comedy. I don't know what to do.

I'm wandering around in the Dark Wood, unable to find my way out, and pursued by the Leopard, the Lion, and the she-Wolf. Helpless.

I used to enjoy pressure, but it's never been like this before. It keeps building and it won't relief. I have to fight or be squashed just like Luke, Han, and Leia in the garbage masher.

Sometimes it's not so bad and I feel like I can take on the world, but other days it feels like God Himself is testing me. I get the feeling I'm not exactly a straight-A student, so to speak. Ugh.

It's like I jumped off the cliff six months ago, and I'm only now beginning to wonder what's at the bottom, how fast I'm going, and what it will feel like when I touch down. Will it be a gentle drop and roll like a parachute landing? Or will it be a crash similar to that of the ill-fated Boeing 747? Or will I pull a Challenger and combust before touchdown?

I dunno. If everything falls flat on its face it will have served me right. Maybe then I will have learned my lesson.

I am so dead.

No comments: