Emo-ness

Not many people know me very well, but that's because I don't get out much. In retrospect, I think the reason I don't get out much is because I don't know many people very well. It's a vicious cycle.

Amazing Violin

I found out that this violinist, Hilary Hahn, records Mozart and Beethoven. Wow. I was a big fan of hers awhile ago, having heard her scoring of M. Night Shyamalan's The Village, but hearing one of her recordings woke me up to how talented an artist she really is. I wish I knew violin.

I want her recordings of Mozart's Sonatas for violin and piano as well as Bach's Partitas.

Mmm, violin.

Congratulations, Private "Ripper" Jackson

On 23 February 2007, a new dog was drafted into the Canine Special Forces Security Division. The applicant, a certain "Ripper" Jackson is currently in training, set for graduation this summer.

Jack is a massive black Lab/Chow mix, very mellow but powerful when he wants to be. He'll fit in well after things settle down.

The first two years of his life have been harried. He was first in an animal shelter, then with a family, then another family, and now us. I hope he never leaves. He needs a home. Dogs are like that. I think all domesticated dogs have an instinct to settle down on a spot of territory to call their own. They're a lot like us.

There has been and will continue to be problems within the ranks in regards to our new addition. First Sergeant Killit is intensely jealous of the affection we pour upon the new arrival, and occasionally fights break out amongst the two. But already these are becoming rare, and I expect the two dogs to eventually become the best of friends.

Stress

Ever get the feeling that you're helpless and out of control? Everything is spinning out of my reach. I feel lifeless and pushed to the limits - like that 500 rod portage. Note: this is not good.

I'm slipping in regards to Latin and even my Divine Comedy. I don't know what to do.

I'm wandering around in the Dark Wood, unable to find my way out, and pursued by the Leopard, the Lion, and the she-Wolf. Helpless.

I used to enjoy pressure, but it's never been like this before. It keeps building and it won't relief. I have to fight or be squashed just like Luke, Han, and Leia in the garbage masher.

Sometimes it's not so bad and I feel like I can take on the world, but other days it feels like God Himself is testing me. I get the feeling I'm not exactly a straight-A student, so to speak. Ugh.

It's like I jumped off the cliff six months ago, and I'm only now beginning to wonder what's at the bottom, how fast I'm going, and what it will feel like when I touch down. Will it be a gentle drop and roll like a parachute landing? Or will it be a crash similar to that of the ill-fated Boeing 747? Or will I pull a Challenger and combust before touchdown?

I dunno. If everything falls flat on its face it will have served me right. Maybe then I will have learned my lesson.

I am so dead.

Liberty's Crusade

Nothing satisfies like hard work. Nothing. I'm working, I'm trying, honest. It is very hard. Who could have imagined that self-motivation was so difficult?

If I could really go back in time to a different period, would I do so? Would you?

I am going to go outside and ski now. Maybe that meditation will clear my head.

Existence is not life

And I truly am existing, not living. My sole purpose is swimming upstream against the current of a Class IV river. Why do I do such stupid things? Even if this isn't stupid, it's awfully close. I think I may combust.

Bring Me To Life - Catchy Tune, Bad Lyrics, Awesome video

I should mention that I have an enduring and abiding love for the work of Japanese anime artist
Hayao Miyazaki. His movie, Princess Mononoke in particular is one of my favorite films of all time.

The song that accompanies the video is lousy, but the tune is catchy and flows well with the short clip. Hopefully I will be forgiven for listening to Evanescence.