Politics From Cicero

Those who propose to take charge of the affairs of government should not fail to remember two of Plato's rules: first, to keep the good of the people so clearly in view that regardless of their own interests they will make their every action conform to that; second, to care for the welfare of the whole body politic and not in serving the interests of some one party to betray the rest. For the administration of the government, like the office of a trustee must be conducted for the benefit of those entrusted to one's care, not of those to whom it is entrusted. Now, those who care for the interests of a part of the citizens and neglect another part, introduce into the civil service a dangerous element — dissension and party strife. The result is that some are found to be loyal supporters of the democratic, others of the aristocratic party, and few of the nation as a whole.

All this the citizen who is patriotic, brave, and worthy of a leading place in the state will shun with abhorrence; he will dedicate himself unreservedly to his country, without aiming at influence or power for himself; and he will devote himself to the state in its entirety in such a way as to further the interests of all. Besides, he will not expose anyone to hatred or disrepute by groundless charges. but he will surely cleave to justice and honour so closely that he will submit to any loss, however heavy, rather than be untrue to them, and will face death itself rather than renounce them. {87} A most wretched custom, assuredly, is our electioneering and scrambling for office. Concerning this also we find a fine thought in Plato: "Those who compete against one another," he says, "to see which of two candidates shall administer the government, are like sailors quarrelling as to which one of them shall do the steering." And he likewise lays down the rule that we should regard only those as adversaries who take up arms against the state, not those who strive to have the government administered according to their convictions.

On Jacob's Relationship to God

On Jacob’s Relationship with God

Timothy Davis

Sophomore Language, Mr. Pihas

09.14.2008.

“And Iacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keepe me in this way that I goe, and will giue me bread to eate, and raiment to put on, so that I come againe to my fathers house in peace: then shall the LORD be my God.” [1][2]

“And Iacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the LORD which saidst vnto me, Returne vnto thy countrey, and to thy kinred, and I will deale well with thee: I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the trueth, which thou hast shewed vnto thy seruant: for with my staffe I passe ouer this Iordan, and now I am become two bands. Deliuer me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I feare him, lest he will come, and smite me, and the mother with the children. And thou sadist, I will surely doe thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbred for multitude.”[3]

In these two passages we have very different prayers to God. The former is confident and brief, as though Jacob is addressing an equal; the second is far longer, intimate, humble, and desperate. What are the ways that Jacob has changed between these two prayers and how does it affect his relationship to his God?

Jacob’s early years are privileged. God informs Rebekah that the elder son (Esau) will serve the younger (Jacob), and Jacob is Rebekah’s favorite child.[4] He is a confident, self-assured character when we first meet him, tricking his careless brother out of his birthright by means of a bargain that would make Odysseus proud. He is skilled in trickery and deception (even his name means “supplanter”) and since he is the weaker of the two, relies upon intellect and tricks to achieve his ends. This early confidence climaxes when he steals Esau’s blessing and deceives Isaac at Rebekah’s urging. He flees Esau to save his life and journeys towards Padan Aram to marry. Though he has no wealth and wanders alone, he has great reason to be confident; Isaac’s God has chosen him to seed Abraham’s descendents and be a great nation. Isaac has blessed him to be prosperous wherever and whenever he acts. Thus when he experiences a vision of God at Bethel he manifests his pride by making a vow which is more reminiscent of a business contract than a man doing homage to his Creator. He is conscious of his poverty and stipulates that if God will enrich him, he will serve God and even return to God some of his wealth.[5] This last clause is his first spiritually mature act and gives us hope that he will not always be arrogant.

The first blow to Jacob’s pride is Laban; a man whose intellect and craft are equal to his own. Laban exploits Jacob’s passion for Rachel so that Jacob is tricked into marrying Leah and serving him for fourteen years.[6] To our surprise, Jacob does little more than protest Laban’s deception; once he marries Rachel, he bears seven years of service without complaint as far as we know. But it is important to note that from the very beginning of Laban’s interaction with Jacob, Jacob is no longer in control. Back home with his parents and Esau, there was no question that Jacob was the crafty and clever one; he led and Esau followed. But now Laban has the initiative and Jacob is the one who is forced to adjust; Laban has wrested control over him which must certainly surprise him, and God now enters into the dispute which is the second blow to Jacob’s supposed invincibility.

Jacob never intended to marry Leah, and thus loves Rachel far more than she. God apparently sees this as unjust and permits Leah to bear many children while keeping Rachel from conceiving. A quarrel between the two sisters ensues and Jacob is in the middle, forced to deal with familial conflict after creating so much of his own. His tricks are unable to save him from domestic troubles and he again is not the dictator of events; he is passive, accepting Rachel’s leadership in taking Bilhah for a wife (a favor he gives Leah as well). His four wives bear many children but Jacob is not the leader and was unable to gain the upper hand in either this predicament or in his trials with Laban.

And his trials with Laban are only beginning. Jacob has now served Laban for more than fourteen years and God has blessed his efforts, for Laban’s flocks are more prosperous than he ever could have made them and he surely knows Jacob’s administrative talent. He is greedy for more wealth at the hands of Jacob and even agrees to pay Jacob for his work. A game of cat-and-mouse erupts between the two, as both trick each other as quickly as they can, Laban changing Jacob’s wages and Jacob practicing one-sided selective breeding to give himself the best cattle and shortchanging his uncle. But either because Jacob’s wit has finally mastered Laban’s, or God has blessed him, Jacob grows exceedingly rich in cattle and servants. He realizes that Laban’s attitude towards him has darkened, and at a word from God, he flees back to his homeland.

Jacob has now become confident again, but not solely for his own talent. He recognizes that God blessed him in his duel with Laban and this gives Jacob the courage to confront him, who gives pursuit, and even though he assumes a humble stance in the argument, it is clear he does not fear his uncle. God forbids Laban to harm Jacob, and once again, the latter has persevered. He has shown tenacity and growth for twenty years and has gained a larger perspective on his place in the world. Confident in his own ability still, he nonetheless grants God a higher place in the causes for his success.

All of this changes in chapter thirty-two, when Jacob returns towards Canaan. He immediately assumes a humble stance towards Esau, no longer thinking himself the better of the two or superior. But his messengers return saying Esau comes with four hundred men, and Jacob is petrified in terror, thinking his brother to be attacking him. His intellect and trickery cannot save him from his perceived doom, and it is now when he acknowledges God’s hand in enriching him, sending his desperate, intimate plea to God for salvation; it is here that the contrast between the two prayers is starkest. The first is clear and succinct: terms are expressly laid out and the relationship is clear: God will interact with Jacob on Jacob’s terms. But here, Jacob indulges in prose poetry in his lengthy appeal for mercy, humbling himself contrary to his nature, fully acknowledging his success to be from God, who has kept his side of the bargain, blessing him with wealth. He ends his prayer with a call of remembrance, reminding God that he will be made a great nation. No longer bargaining, Jacob is begging God to have mercy on him and remember the promises made at Bethel. The end of this petition is the opposite of the first: God would approach Jacob on God’s terms; the prayer was one-sided. Now the prayer is still one-sided but the roles have changed; God will interact with Jacob on God’s terms. Jacob knows this and therefore has humbled himself, waiting (and possibly not expecting) for God to answer. God’s answer to Jacob’s prayer is in the form of a contest:

“…and there wrestled a man with him, vntill the breaking of the day. And when he saw, that he preuailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh: and of the hollow of Iacobs thigh was out of ioynt, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me goe, for the day breaketh: and he said, I will not let thee goe, except thou blesse me.”[7]

By fighting and maintaining indomitable will, Jacob ultimately finds favor with God, for he refuses to yield even when injured, and even though God has the “upper hand”, Jacob is able to drive a bargain with the man whom he has fought to a draw. What is it about Jacob’s endurance during trial that allows him to gain God’s blessing? Is it endurance as endurance simply, or is there something particular about this endurance? One possible answer is that Jacob’s prayer represents a real change of heart from his previous “bargain” oath at Bethel, and that he is newly committed to placing the future in God’s hands but will not flag in his own mortal efforts to effect his desired ends, even when his wealth, his family, and himself is mortally threatened by his brother. Perhaps it is this will, this courage to continue in his affairs despite placing hope in God that paradoxically wins him divine favor, for if he had not shown humility and sought God with the proper heart it is doubtful that he would have been delivered.

Jacob crosses the river towards Esau a new man. He has wrestled with God and prevailed, been blessed, and given a new name. He is becoming a faithful servant of God and a great patriarch. The seeds of a new faith, built on holy fear and trembling, rather than bargains, have been sewn and the rise of God’s chosen people has begun; all because Jacob’s excesses of pride and deception have mellowed into a richer submission to the will of God. It is in his recognizing and submitting to this will that God’s covenant with him will be fulfilled.

---

[1] Genesis 28:20-21

[2] All quotations come from the 1611 King James Version, Hendrickson Publishers, Peabody MA, 2008

[3] Genesis 32:9-12

[4] Genesis 25:23, 28

[5] Genesis 28:20-22

[6] Genesis 29:15-30

[7] Genesis 32:24-26

Studying Greek at 5AM

Yeah, I'm back to 5AM Greek sessions. Remember those times in Fe, when I'd stay up till 3AM learning that darn Luschnig? Well it paid off and now I can sleep instead if I get up at five to finish my translation. And speaking of translation, it's getting easier. I still hate Sophocles (Don't tell Maxine), but with the aid of Lenore the Lexicon and the occasional peek at Perseus (everyone uses it here but it feels like cheating!!), I do okay:

(Lines 255-268)
οὐδ᾽ εἰ γὰρ ἦν τὸ πρᾶγμα μὴ θεήλατον,
ἀκάθαρτον ὑμᾶς εἰκὸς ἦν οὕτως ἐᾶν,
ἀνδρός γ᾽ ἀρίστου βασιλέως τ᾽ ὀλωλότος,
ἀλλ᾽ ἐξερευνᾶν: νῦν δ᾽ ἐπεὶ κυρῶ γ᾽ ἐγὼ
ἔχων μὲν ἀρχὰς ἃς ἐκεῖνος εἶχε πρίν,
260ἔχων δὲ λέκτρα καὶ γυναῖχ᾽ ὁμόσπορον,
κοινῶν τε παίδων κοίν᾽ ἄν, εἰ κείνῳ γένος
μὴ 'δυστύχησεν, ἦν ἂν ἐκπεφυκότα:
νῦν δ᾽ ἐς τὸ κείνου κρᾶτ᾽ ἐνήλαθ᾽ ἡ τύχη:
ἀνθ᾽ ὧν ἐγὼ τάδ᾽, ὡσπερεὶ τοὐμοῦ πατρός,
265ὑπερμαχοῦμαι κἀπὶ πᾶν ἀφίξομαι,
ζητῶν τὸν αὐτόχειρα τοῦ φόνου λαβεῖν,
τῷ Λαβδακείῳ παιδὶ Πολυδώρου τε καὶ
τοῦ πρόσθε Κάδμου τοῦ πάλαι τ᾽ Ἀγήνορος.

Even if this was a deed not driven on by a god,
It would not be proper for you to leave it, uncleansed,
since a good man has been destroyed, a king. Search it out.
Now, since I hold the power which he held previously,
and hold the bed and wife he sewed together
we would have common things of common children,
if his race had not been unfortunate, who would have been born
(but as it is, fortune leapt upon his head)
Because of these things I will fight as though he were my father,
I shall go to all things, seeking with my own hand to grasp the murderer
of the son of Labdakos and [the son of] Polydoros and before him
of Kadmus and of ancient Agenor.

What do you think?

God Is Not Fair

No, nothing wrong happened to me. I am just peachy. In fact, I'm tremendous. I have a job and all the money I need, will finish sophomore year with enough money (as it looks now, at least), and have a likely summer job prepared. Everything is progressing like a charm. In short, I lead a blessed life. But apparently, I'm the only one of my friends who does, for almost everyone I know has had it rough. They've had to take years off school, don't have enough money, get doors slammed in their faces, and plain old struggle. Why does God choose to bless me beyond belief and let them struggle this way? I'm no better than anyone else, why was I chosen? Why can't he bless them as well?

I don't know how weird it is to almost feel guilty about my own success while everyone I know struggles, but there you are. Friends are trying to make enough money to pay for food and I struggle over selecting seminar readings I want to buy; Anslem? Augustine? Shakespeare?

It's frustrating, really, hearing about the troubles that plague them and being almost helpless to respond beyond prayer. I pray, of course, but I want to do more than that; I want to do something on the material plane.

I am dualistic at this point; I thank God for his blessings and pray they continue but I want my friends to have the same blessings. Is it childish to say that it's not fair? What plan does the Almighty have? I wish I knew.

Rediscovery of Sappho.

I have rediscovered Sappho's Hymn to Aphrodite. Memories of Mr. Pagano's Greek class, unite!

Ποικιλόθρον᾽ ὰθάνατ᾽ ᾽Αφροδιτα,
παῖ Δίοσ, δολόπλοκε, λίσσομαί σε
μή μ᾽ ἄσαισι μήτ᾽ ὀνίαισι δάμνα,
πότνια, θῦμον.

ἀλλά τυίδ᾽ ἔλθ᾽, αἴποτα κἀτέρωτα
τᾶσ ἔμασ αύδωσ αἴοισα πήλγι
ἔκλυεσ πάτροσ δὲ δόμον λίποισα
χρύσιον ἦλθεσ

ἄρμ᾽ ὐποζεύξαια, κάλοι δέ σ᾽ ἆγον
ὤκεεσ στροῦθοι περὶ γᾶσ μελαίνασ
πύκνα δινεῦντεσ πτέῤ ἀπ᾽ ὠράνω
αἴθεροσ διὰ μέσσω.

αῖψα δ᾽ ἐχίκοντο, σὺ δ᾽, ὦ μάσαιρα
μειδιάσαισ᾽ ἀθάνατῳ προσώπῳ,
ἤρἐ ὄττι δηὖτε πέπονθα κὤττι
δἦγτε κάλημι

κὤττι μοι μάλιστα θέλω γένεσθαι
μαινόλᾳ θύμῳ, τίνα δηὖτε πείθω
μαῖσ ἄγην ἐσ σὰν φιλότατα τίσ τ, ὦ
Πσάπφ᾽, ἀδίκηει;

καὶ γάρ αἰ φεύγει, ταχέωσ διώξει,
αἰ δὲ δῶρα μὴ δέκετ ἀλλά δώσει,
αἰ δὲ μὴ φίλει ταχέωσ φιλήσει,
κωὐκ ἐθέλοισα.

ἔλθε μοι καὶ νῦν, χαλεπᾶν δὲ λῦσον
ἐκ μερίμναν ὄσσα δέ μοι τέλεσσαι
θῦμοσ ἰμμέρρει τέλεσον, σὐ δ᾽ αὔτα
σύμμαχοσ ἔσσο.

Wisdom From Mr. Tansey.

"The heliocentric model of the universe had been taught in Europe for a century prior to the Galileo trial without censure. Galileo's defense lawyers were Jesuit priests (famous or infamous, depending on your perspective, for their fanatical loyalty to the Church). Copernicus was a Catholic monk.

Galileo got in trouble because he was quite arrogant and he presumed himself fit to lecture learned theologians on matters of scripture. It had nothing to do with his scientific theories (which, btw, he could not prove at the time)"

I intend to verify these statements. I have long suspected this but hesitated to argue it.

Constructive Critique of the Barn

It has been a blessing and a privilege to work as a wrangler this summer with the horses; riding, training, taking care of them, and teaching campers to do the same in addition to developing their own love and admiration for these magnificent creatures. I believe the barn fulfills an essential niche in the HoneyRock program for its use of live animals in an activity area; for when campers are at the barn, they ride half-ton living, breathing creatures, and not something man-made. Because horses are unpredictable and exciting animals, they force campers to interact with the natural world and nature’s laws in ways which the other activities do not require.

I purpose to outline my summer experience as a wrangler and highlight those things which in my opinion went well and also which things need to be improved or changed.

The wrangler summer began the second week of May and we received roughly four to six weeks of training, first from the Ranch Coordinator and then from the Certified Horsemanship Association clinic. This training was helpful even for the most talented barn staff and absolutely essential for us wranglers who were less experienced in riding or teaching. Of particular value was the CHA clinic, which trained us in teaching horsemanship skills to campers of various ages and skill levels. As a more inexperienced rider and a green instructor, I was exceptionally benefited by the clinic and was well-prepared to teach campers to ride. The clinic also gives the Ranch Coordinator flexibility when hiring staff, for in the event that recruiting seven highly skilled rider-instructors is impossible, she can draw upon a larger pool of willing but less skilled applicants who, when trained, provide competent instructors for the barn.

The time spent training the wranglers and developing group cohesion enabled us to work as a team and built the foundation of a friendly and professional summer. Staff rides and excursions or overnight trips were valued highly and kept the staff motivated through the camper sessions.

The position of Head Wrangler needs to be either significantly altered or discarded. Previously, the positions of Head Wrangler and Ranch Coordinator were divorced; the Head Wrangler ran the day-to-day routine of the barn and the Ranch Coordinator took charge of the administrative aspects of the barn such as herd size, feed, facilities, maintenance, etc. But the current position of Ranch Coordinator has married the two and therefore their relationship is vague and redundant. If the Head Wrangler position is retained, it should be far more of a supportive role (i.e. “ranch coordinator assistant”) than the Head of the Barn that it was four years ago.

I come now to the most important subject of this reflection: the herd. Maintaining a horse program creates unique challenges for the HoneyRock administration. Horses have a limited lifespan in which they can effectively work and a limited workday. Currently, the HoneyRock herd is too small for the tasks it is asked to perform. We have 20 saddle horses that are usable for trail riding and arena work, and they are asked to work ten hours a day, six days a week. They cannot work this hard and remain the high-quality animals that we require, for they are not automations; they are living beings who cannot work as a boat can work, and they become overworked just as people do.

When a horse is overworked it ceases to listen to the cues of a new rider and becomes obstinate and grumpy. Horses such as these are extremely detrimental to the camper’s barn experience and frustrate (sometimes to the point of tears) both camper and instructor. Furthermore, wranglers cannot condition overworked horses, and for lack of training, once-fine mounts become surly and unreliable. This has been demonstrated this summer as horses that were wonderful for Basic students cease to listen the moment a new rider is placed on their back. The horse program is meant to be challenging and fun, but it is neither when a horse ceases to listen to a student of any skill level.

There is also the problem of age. Almost half the herd is over the age of twenty (which corresponds to roughly sixty of our years), and they will soon need to be retired from the barn program and replaced.

In light of these two issues facing the herd, the size of the herd should be increased by at least six, bringing the number of usable saddle horses to twenty-six. The new horses should be as dependable and as young as possible – well under the age of ten. This increase would permit each horse in the herd to have every third day off and allow for accidents such as lameness or soreness. The herd should also be kept as young as practical, for young, willing mounts provide a far richer experience for campers than tired, old nags that refuse to go faster than a walk.

Finally, the HoneyRock administration should consult the Ranch Coordinator for advice or recommendations whenever it makes decisions concerning the barn and use her insight as much as possible. She knows the barn, the horses, and the camper program very well and her experience as Ranch Coordinator is invaluable to the administration.

The Beginning of the End

My time here in the North Woods is drawing to a close. I have been a wrangler for the past two and a half months and now I work in the kitchen, in the AM shift. After working so long with Boss-Lady and Rebekah in the barn, working in the kitchen feels artificial and forced. But I am fairly convinced that this feeling exists only because I made a transition. No doubt that I will feel a little artificial when I drive out to Annapolis in three weeks. Surely in the next day or so I will feel completely at home (and maybe be able to ride Montana again before I leave HoneyRock) washing dishes and helping out in the bakery. But I know it is the beginning of the end - not the end of the beginning, as Mr. Churchill might say.

This has been a most excellent summer - I could not have chosen a better place to earn money for the fall - and I am well aware of what a blessing it has been. I have had a lot of time to read, practice, and think to myself. I have been able to think a lot about iffy-ness and what it could possibly mean. I have been heavily tested with respect to my future decisions and the implications that they could have on me. I am little more sure about the future now than I was three months ago, but I feel much more comfortable with whatever it holds.

If I remember, I will post some anonymous poetry up here; a friend of mine wrote the most amazing bitter love poems ever last week and they're far too precious to fade into obscurity. Given my fierce celibacy, you can imagine how wonderfully I enjoyed them.

Toodles.

The Ides of August

The Ides of August will see me in a very different position. My wrangling will be completed 8 August and on the following Monday I begin work in the kitchen as Head Ass. of the AM shift, serving food for 30 tables three times a day. It will be a rough fortnight.

It will be strange leaving the barn. It has been my home for the past ninety days and I have enjoyed myself thoroughly. My classes by and large have been excellent, especially this last class of nine Intermediate girls. I cannot begin to say how adorable they were, nor how squirrelly; yet they all paid attention to the material, even as I had expected. Whether it is genetics (which my sister thinks) or it is conditioning (as I think it is), I prefer teaching Basic and Intermediate girls than boys; they listen closer, they work harder, and they have a much stronger drive to become skilled horsemen than their male peers, who seem to me only to want fun, not necessarily improvement.

Just think; this summer, seventy days of teaching, fourteen days of dishes: coming to a close in three weeks. And then...! Annapolis! I can barely contain my excitement whenever I contemplate this fall. I have studied the Greco-Roman world, this semester I study the Judeo-Christian world, and next semester I study the medievals, who united the two in a beautiful synthesis. Thus this sophomore year will be tremendously exciting and challenging, with horribly difficult Greek, dense music theory, wretched geometry and Descartes, and an ever increasing pressure from my enabling essay. I will meet this challenge in the best way I know how: as of right now, before lunch, before I teach with Rebekah at 1430, even at this moment, I will return to my cabin and take a fat nap.

Toodles.

Big Shift.

In two days I went from arid New Mexico to (comparatively speaking) humid Wisconsin, where I will spend at least two months - 27 May - 8 August. Hopefully I can be employed in the kitchen or in the barn and earn a few more hundred dollars, but whatever the god wills.

It is a big shift, however. I miss seminar and discussing great ideas with people who really care and can talk about them without becoming heated or upset. I have left the world of philosophy and am setting faith first priority - reason and faith together accomplish what reason alone cannot. So I am studying the Bible far more though I am also about to start Aristotle's De Anima. I finished Chesterton's The Everlasting Man, which gave me a wonderful introduction to Chesterton's thought and style; both of which I am a fan. I want to read his Orthodoxy now.

I am working as a wrangler in HoneyRock's barn, about 40 hours a week. It is awesome but I will be very glad to return to St. John's and something new - Annapolis! But I am enjoying myself thoroughly and I love my job. I am working out five days a week, I am running again, and feel better than I have in a long, long time. My connection to the god remains strong and I am his servant, acting in his will. Therefore I am confident that he will provide for my every need as long as I take every opportunity to help myself and be his representative on earth. I will do what I promised and he will do what he promised, for it is not a one-way relationship.

Life has seldom moved this quickly. June is almost over and I get the feeling that July will move even quicker, quicker than the swift-footed Achilleus. And then my wrangler job will be over unless Boss-Lady hires me for Passage! I love this life - I am 19 and full of excitement and enthusiasm; I can hardly wait to see what comes next.

Sappho - A Master Poetess

Σαπφω

─ˆ─ˆ─ˆˆ─ˆ── 1,2,3;
─ˆˆ── 4.

Ποικιλόθρον’ άθανάτ’ Αφρόδιτα,
Παι Δίος δολόπλοκε, λίσσομαί σε,
Μη μ’ασαισι μηδ’όνίαισι δάμνα
Πότνια, θυμον,

Αλλα τθίδ’ ελθ’, αι ποτα κάτέρωτα
Τας εμας αθδας αίοισα πηλοι
Εκλυες, πάτρος δε δόμον λίποισα
Χρύσιον ηλθες

Αρμ’ θπασδύξαισα· κάλοι δέ σ’αγον
Ωκεες στρουθοι περι γας μελαίνας
Πύκνα δίννεντες πτέρ απ’ ςρνωοιθε-
Ρος δια μέσσω,

Αιψα δ’εξίκοντο· συ δ’, ω μάκαιρα,
Μειδιαίσαισ’ αθανάτω πρσσώπω
Ηρε’ οττι δηυτε πέπονθα κωττι
Δηυτε κάλημμι

Κωττι μοι μάλιστα θέλ γένεσθαι
Μαινόλα θύμω·τίνα δηυτε πείθω
αψ σ’αγαην ες υαν φιλότατα; Τίς σ’, ω
Ψάπφ’, αδικήει;

Και γαρ αι ψεύγει, ταχέως διώξει
Αι δε δωρα μη δέκεται, αλλα δωσει·
Αι δε μη φίλει, ταχέως φιλήσει
Τωυκ εθέλοισα.

Ελθε μοι και νθν, χαλέπαν δε λυσον
Εκ μέριμναν, οσσα δέ μοι τέλεσσαι
Θμος ιμέρρει, τέλεσον σθ δ’αθτα
Συμμαχος εσσο.

....Where did my sanity go?! Cursed penguins...

What a fine two weeks. I managed to pull myself together and write three papers and work hard. This next week is still somewhat of a challenge due to summer sickness, but all I have left is Seminar and Language, for I ended Lab and Math Thursday and Friday respectively. I look forward to only having one class on Monday though that means my Don Rag is at 1100 Monday morning; this causes me a bit of apprehension. Not as much as Olivia regularly engages in to be sure, but a little.

This next week will not be as difficult as last week; there are no difficult Seminar readings (well, the Poetics will be kind of difficult), just the Poetics and Sophocles' Philoctetes. Hardly the Metaphysics, right? Of course right. Furthermore, all we have for Greek on Wednesday is a page of Sappho - difficult Greek, I bet, but I'm going to translate it all over the weekend and be kick off the summer with an awesome finale to Greek.

However, though next week will be easier on me (no all nighters and I'll get to bed on time), I'm not going to slack off one bit - I'm habituating myself in terms of Sophomore Year. It's going to be hard and I'll also need to adjust to Annapolis, so habits of hard work and hard play need to be effected as soon as possible. Hopefully the summer will help with that, me being a wrangler and all. So no slacking off - wait until the end of the year, and then knock off with a good cigarette and head home with Kyle!

Keep up the good fight. I'll get my sanity back soon...as soon as I find those dratted penguins..

One by One the Penguins Steal My Sanity

There is a lot to do and very little time in which to do it. Focus, Mr. Davis. You're almost there. Hit the books hard these next few weeks, and enjoy yourself. That is your portage; a three-weeker. You can do it. Laziness is weakness. Diligence is strength. Self-control is power. And as always, Reason Prevails!

I need to buckle down and focus. I am going to work harder these next three weeks than you ever thought possible. I am going to make up for Junio Year, Senior year, and last semester. Just you wait and see.

Everything fits into Place

The final month of the semester is here. In five weeks, God willing, I will be in the North Woods working with Ms. Webber and any other wranglers that show up. And in addition, I will get to meet the new foal that Ginger birthed! I hope they name him/her either Brasidas or Antigone.

What a mind job. The switch will be absolutely tremendous! From secular-as-hell St. John's to thoroughly Christian HoneyRock. I'll adjust just fine once I get used to hearing people speak without profanity and hopefully there exists a piano still at camp.

The work will be very hard, of course, and I will be reveiwing Greek (I fully expect to work through the entire Luschnig text and translate a book from the New Testament) and reading like crazy: On the Soul, Nichomachean Ethics, Gorgias, and The Peloponnesian War. I'll finish those in plenty of time assuming I can actually read between 30 and 50 pages of Thucydides a day. In addition, I hope to finish Chopin's Etude No.3 in E major and maybe even putt around with his third Ballade. Who can say?

Everything is fitting into place. After Reality I'll be home for a day, spend the entire summer at HoneyRock, and off to Annapolis for a year. (And the campus is so gorgeous I can hardly believe it)

Alas, this post is very stream-of-concious. I apologize and will never post like this again as long as I can help myself.

Running Plan

I am about to continue running again, and this time I will continue. I plan to begin at HoneyRock, where I will work up to three miles over six weeks, and by the last month or so I should be at 15 miles a week, and able to keep that pace up sophmore year. Finally I will achieve my long-distance running dream!

My plan:

Week 1:
Mon. 5 min run with 5 min cool down. This will be walking.
Wed. 5 min run with 5 min cool down.
Fri. 10 min run, cool down.

Week 2:
Mon. 7 min run, cool down
Wed. 7 min run, cool down
Fri. 15 min run, cool down

Week 3
M: 12 min run, cool down
W: 15 min run, cool down
F: 20 min run, cool down

Week 4
M: 15 min run, cool down
W: 18 min run, cool down
F: 25 min run, cool down

Week 5
M: 20 min run, cool down
W: 25 minute run, cool down
F: 30 min. run, cool down

Week 6
M: 20 min run, cool down
W:25 min run, cool down
F: 30 min run, cool down

The Thrill of Spring

So things are starting to work out better than I had hoped. Hurdles I thought insurmountable are passed, with not exactly ease, persay, but far less effort than I had originally anticipated. For example:

• I might be going to Annapolis! There are 9 rising sophmores who want to transfer, and God be praised, I am No.1! Getting my application in was quite a challenge, but I fnially was able to obtain a waver for the $500 entrance fee so it looks like Sophmore Year will be spent in Maryland. How cool is that?
• I'm working at HRC over the summer! I spent a lot of time agonizing over the decision, but B&G isn't a job I would enjoy as much, and it would earn me almost as much as HRC because for two weeks I would need to find a place to stay. I think I made the right decision. I am very excited to work with Becky again and work as a wrangler. Maybe I can even stay after Res Camp is over and help with Passage and whatnot. Mmmmm...
• There is a good chance, according to Mr. Johnston, that I can stay in town over spring break. That would be awesome, but it's almost time to book a plane ticket or something and I'm really antsy. I try not to worry about it, I really do. Living without worry is so much better than the alternative, but sometimes I can't help it. But whatever happens will happen.
• I'm learning Greek! We're on the Meno, and I can finally keep up. I've been working much harder and making good progress. I have a purely selfish goal; impressing Mr. Pagano. This might sound childish, but in all honesty he is a tutor whose respect I would really love to have.

Stuff is happening. The 07-08 year is wrapping up, and in but a few months I will be a rising sophmore! Incredibly exciting. I think I'm in the perfect school, and I believe I am following God's will for my life. Hence I am confident and self-assured. Why? Because it's not up to me, so why bother about it? I could try and run my own life. Heck, if I had, I'd probably be in Iraq right now instead of receiving the best education money can possibly buy. (while being a soldier is something I would LOVE to do, I'm holding off on it till further notice. Maybe I'll put in a word to God about it)

I am very curious to see what this summer will hold for me..

Spring Semester.

Break didn't exactly work out the way I hoped; I reviewed little Greek, and read almost no Thucydides. I did all right with the readings, but Greek is still a monster trying to devour me. I'm fighting back and indeed, my combat is proving superior, but it is a terrible struggle. I'm exhausted every weekend, and I have three papers due within two weeks of each other.

On the whole, it's great to be back. I got over my sickness (fever, nausea, diahrrea flu, even blindness) and all that's left is the remnant of a cough. I really hope nothing like that happens again for a very long time. But I'm back on my feet and ready to rock and roll.

I have a large decision to make: where shall I work over the summer? HoneyRock Camp or St. John's College, Santa Fe? I will make about $300 more here, but I'd have perhaps more fun at HoneyRock, (my favorite place in the world) I would get to work with Ms. Webber, and I would get to fulfill my dream of being a Wrangler that I have entertained since '03.

Shucks, I don't know what I'd do. I'll ask God and see what He thinks.

Welcome, Year of the Rat!

Indeed, the year of 2008 is here! I am in the process of bidding my farewells to 2007 and preparing my welcomes to 2008. A lot of things will change this year, both personally and in the world outside.

First, to give a sort of recap of 2007. This was the year I graduated high school, went to the North Woods again, and began my freshman year at St. John's College.

The first part of 2007 was spent preparing for my high school recital to benefit the organization The Smile Train. That took place in April, when I played at Mt. Carroll's Church of God on a Yamaha G3 piano. Soon afterwards I graduated, and ran off to Northern Wisconsin. There in the North Woods I received my spiritual preparation for St. John's. I spent seven weeks as an Assistant Counselor, working with kids for fortnight stints at a time, one after the other. Fairly intense and slightly overwhelming at times, it forced out my extrovert side (which has always been a little understated) and compelled me to interact with people more than I normally do. I developed a strong dependence upon God and strengthened my relationship with His Son, continuing in '06's commitment.

By the time ACing was up, it was time to work. I spent two, three weeks working with Ms. Webber in the barn and Justin Cope in the kitchen. That was the first time I had earned real money - almost $600 worth. Thrilled? You bet. It's a pleasure to work in the (relatively) free market and earn money like nobody's business. I can honestly say that it was the time of my life, this past summer.

Summer went fast, I will admit, but the fall semester went even faster. On 28 August (the most eventful day of my life) I boarded a plane at O'Hare and flew to Albequerque and then took a shuttle to Santa Fe, where I got off at St. John's College. Let me tell you that this past semester flew past faster than anything I have ever done before. Tutors, programs, books, Socrates, Plato, Homer, Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euclid all ran past me in an ancient blur. It has been the most intense four months of my life. I have had to balance many things simultaneously: my Christianity, my work, my academics, and my music. I will freely admit it is quite a challenge, but it is a challenge I willingly and passionately welcome. I love St. John's and I want to succeed there. God willing, that is precisely what I shall do.

Winter break flew past, and now I am at home, having spent (that's the perfect there!) a few weeks enjoying the company of my complete family; all us kids from Nate and Becca to Abby were home which made for a wild party, let me assure you. Now they are gone save us Younger Three, and in the next 12 days I shall completely review my Greek book and read Thucydides' Peloponnesian War. God willing, I will succeed. Break has been awesome, but it is time to crack down.

As you can see, it has been an eventful year. So much has happened, and so many blessings have been poured out upon me. Mr. Keegan got it right when he said that "You've got a lot of things going for you right now." Well shucks, I guess he's right. I feel like I'm on the top of the world: I serve a good God, I attend a phenomenal school, and I love the great music of the ages. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but when I look back at the year past, I am astounded at how great a God I serve and how much He has blessed me. My atheism has been destroyed and replaced by a clear and vibrant faith in the Divine and in my salvation. There is a certainty I feel (feel, not think!) when I review 2007 that tells me I am following the right path.

I approach the New Year, 2008, the Year of the Rat (I do so love the Chinese Calendar) with great hope and optimism. God willing, I will complete my freshman year and work at HoneyRock Camp over the summer. I have little clear idea what will happen otherwise. I greatly hope I will return to St. John's College in the fall of '08, but perhaps God has something else in mind. Whatever it is, I am incredibly excited to find out.

What else is there to say but "Lead me on, and I will run after You"?
~Timothy